Friday, January 8, 2010

Cause I’m not Blonde – Yeah, yeah, yeah!

FINALLY, yesterday was a day with no doctors!  I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, until I remembered that I’ve been promising to tell you about the blonde wig incident & that I found another place to buy eyebrows.  So, here goes.

I purchased two blonde wigs from Beauty Trends – one straight & one curly.  They came in & the entire family was anxious to see what they looked like on.  My hands were shaking & I could barely contain myself; I was SO excited!  A blonde, a blonde, I could finally be a blonde (yeah, yeah, yeah)!

With trembling hands, giddy from the excitement, I tried the short, curly one on first.  I opened the door to 4 anxious people, who immediately began laughing.  Apparently, I looked like Estelle Getty from the Golden Girls.

Dakota volunteered to go get my walker - very funny, Boy.  I wanted to find something positive about the way I looked, but sadly, I had to agree with the family.  That particular shade of blonde, combined with short curls, really did make me look like I was a senior citizen.  It must have had a psychological effect as well – it was 4:30 & I felt like running to get an early bird dinner.  Back into the box it went.

It was on to the second wig, which was straight.  Here’s kind of what I looked like:

This isn’t an actual picture of me in the wig.  It’s a virtual makeover on iVillage.  I added the heavy eye makeup, just because I thought it would be funnier.  Still, you get the idea.

When I came out of the bathroom this time, the family fell on the floor in stitches.  Elyse ran to the living room, came back & handed me her guitar.  They all agreed that if I had a big ol’ pair of double “F” size hooters & was born in Pigeon Hollow, I could write my ticket in the country music world.  I was not amused.  I had to bite my tongue (hard) not to remind them that my entire family does, in fact, hail from a little Podunk town in Kentucky.  As for the double “F” size honkers, well, we’ll see about that, as that can be arranged.

Long story short, I’m just not cut out to be a blonde.  And, as I’ve said before, I’m not going to go red, since its sacrilege to be another red headed Lucy!  Now, that doesn’t mean that at every conceivable opportunity I have, I’ll try a blonde wig on.  I’ll be bald – it’ll be easy.

So far, I have eyebrows, eyelashes, three wigs & a fourth one is on its way.  I’m like a boy scout – I like to be prepared.  OK, no I’m not; I’m like (am, a little, whatever – no need to get all technical) a shopaholic.  I found something that Matt can’t holler at me for buying.  I’m still trying to figure out how to incorporate sparkly things into the mix.  Give me time . . . . . .  

In the meantime, I’ll be satisfied with a perk of cancer that I still have.  I’m going to be bald, & all I have to do in the morning is slap a wig on top of my head.  Ladies, you know that you’ve had a ton of days that you wish life could be that simple.  So, there’s that!

And now for something that generally has value & is of actual interest to other cancer patients!

In a post on November 13th, I told you about Best Wig Outlet (hence, the story about the blonde wigs).  Between them, Beauty Trends & Paula Young, wigs are very inexpensive.  I shared with you that I purchased two half human hair, half synthetic wigs for less than $75.00 each.  For the whole story, scroll back through my older posts, or go to “Eyebrows & Lashes & Wigs – Oh My!”  I THINK that will take you right to the post.

I’d mentioned that you could purchase the eyebrows at a place called “Head Coverings”, & that they were $34.95.  However, I’ve since found out (or they just started carrying them) that Beauty Trends is carrying them for $24.95.  And, if you order soon, there’s a 15% off coupon on orders of $29.00 or more, using coupon “Dec 29”.  I know that the eyebrows alone won’t equal the minimum, but you may find a nice wig you like.  And if you’re like me, you can never have too many.

I’ve got more to tell you about.  I was at the doctor’s office – AGAIN – this afternoon.  I’ll write more tomorrow.  In the meantime, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your help.  Thank you for all your support, kind wishes & especially those terrific dinners!  I’ll get through this – I promise.  And if you’ve been diagnosed with any type of cancer, please don’t hesitate to contact me.  My email is  You’re going to be fine, too.  We women are a tough breed. 

Tell you more about what’s going on tomorrow!

PS  Reference about being Blonde, (yeah, yeah, yeah) is a from a Julie Brown video from Earth Girls are Easy.  Here’s the link if you’re interested:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed the Julie Brown reference! I've been following your blog and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm a friend of Elyse and found your blog through her. Keep fighting the fight!

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