Monday, May 24, 2010

Have Hope! And, My Sister, Jill & "baby" brother, Jared

My sister, Jill, said something when we were on the phone the other day.  She said that I write about my journey honestly, but I don’t scare people.  This, of course, got me to thinking about my last few posts & the telling of Captain Compassion & his trusty side kick, Nurse Nasty.

I don’t want any of you who are beginning chemo, or who are about to be administered Taxol (or any chemo drug), to think you’ll respond in the same manner as I have.  As I’ve stated before, my reaction & pain to Taxol is due in great part (my family doctor said possibly entirely) to my pre-existing condition, what with the scar tissue all over my abdomen & spine.  Statistics (70 – 80 %,) say that you’ll tolerate it very well.  So please don’t let my story trouble you in any way.  And, if you ever need someone to “speak” to, please feel free to email me at, & put the word cancer in the subject line, or any reference to this blog.  I’ll be more than happy to answer any questions you may have!  Or, if you need a cheerleader, I’ll bring the pom poms.  And if you just need a shoulder, or an ear, I’ve got two of each; you’re welcome to one or both.  After all, you’re the reason I’ve written this.  It's truly been my therapy.

And. . . . . .

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know that my sister Jill & I have been estranged for many years.  I haven’t spoken to either her or my brothers & my other sister, until recently.  Due to the fact that I have breast cancer, they’ve reached out to me.  At first, I wasn’t willing to accept their love.  But my sister, Jill, or my "baby" brother, Jared, wouldn’t let me ignore them (thankfully).

We’ve started calling, writing & becoming Facebook friends; more importantly, we learned what’s kept us apart or thinking ill of each other all these years.  Rumours were spread throughout our large family that were very hurtful.  They were half truths, lies of omission, or all out lies.  Period.  It’s a little difficult to wrap your mind around those things, or why it happened.

But, you know me – on to the bright side!

My family has just begun to get to know each other again.  But, unlike cancer, I’m excited to begin this journey.  More than anything, I hope that you don’t make the same mistake that my family & I have.  Don’t wait until a life threatening illness makes you reach out to one another.  Or in my case, open your arms to those doing the reaching.  I love you guys!

My story underscores the importance of communication.  If you hear something negative about a family member, no matter WHO is doing the telling, speak to whoever is being spoken about directly.  Don’t let cancer be the catalyst for you to pick up the phone, write a letter or send an email to a brother or sister, or someone else who’s been important to you in your life.

Life can be a stormy sea, but God sends family, friends & Angels to help you through.  Cling to whomever He’s sent you.  Like God, they’re a lifeline.

Thank you to my little sister, Jill, & my baby brother, Jared, for not giving up on me.  Thanks also to my sister, Katrina, & my brother Jason.  They've all pushed me to open the door.

Hopefully, tomorrow I'll have a "Lucy" story to tell you.  I've been working on it but got sidetracked.  It's about learning to cope with my body's changes during my battle with cancer.  It's called, "Aye, Aye, Ayelashes".


Denise said...

Finally catching up on your blog! I just wanted to say that I'm SO happy that you're in touch with your sibs again. We had some estrangement in my family which was finally put to rest, and I'm so glad to put that behind us. I lost my mom a few days ago and all of that tension would have just added to an already incredibly sad situation.

I'm appalled at how you were treated by your doctor and NP!! You know, his name sounded so familiar and I just realized that I saw him once for a hematology problem. I just cannot understand treating a patient like that.

I don't comment often but I love reading your blog and I keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain, and I'll be praying extra hard as you go through this next round.

Tamara Kells said...

Bless your heart, Denise! You can't know how much I appreciate all the folks who take the time to read my silliness & keep me in their prayers. It's kind of like a nice warm blanket every time someone like you takes the time out of their lives to think of (& pray over) me.

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your mom. I'll keep you in my prayers as well. On the bright side, she's now your angel watching over you.

Love & prayers,

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